hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
