Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize