I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
