How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
