That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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