I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
