party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
