I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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