checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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