I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
