Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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