i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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