i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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