sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
