Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
