Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
