found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We need to get me chipped asap
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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