I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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