I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
