So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Pooping to opera.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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