You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
