how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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