I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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