I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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