i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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