carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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