i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
