im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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