Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The uberlube is also flammable
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
