if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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