guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
