You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's official drugs can't kill me
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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