this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night