Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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