put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
be right there i have to get my cape
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
