Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
