I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
