no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
