i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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