She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
