Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She said her name was "party"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize