is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
