I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
