I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
