i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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