The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize