end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My feet surprised me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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