there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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