is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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