I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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