You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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