she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
