what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize