I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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