I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Bring me that man meat
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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