do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
