Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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