the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
