It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
