So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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