This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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